Carpe Diem

The past 8 months have been a challenge. Personally, professionally, emotionally, physically.... You name it, I've been challenged by it. There has been so much to take care of that I sometimes met myself going in the opposite direction. I found myself worrying about things that turned out to be little things because new things were going to happen that were much BIGGER. Or so it seemed. I was creating a huge snowball of concern and worry because of things I had no control over. But guess what - I didn't need to worry about those little things, or the bigger ones that followed either, because God figured out a way to take the smaller problems and combine them with the bigger problems and make solutions. I'm not quite sure how it all happened, but it did. And I didn't have anything to do with it. Hmmm, you mean I'm NOT in control of my life? I'm glad to know that my children are all safe and mostly happy and all seem to be headed in the right direction. My health is improving because I'm worrying less. My teaching is sure to improve because I'm worrying less. My relationships are improving because - you guessed it - I'm worrying less.

Like I said, I'm not in control of my life anymore (yeah, I really thought I was). I didn't figure all of this out by myself; at just the right moment I got a call from my aunt, E, who was a huge part of my life while I was growing up. She said she just felt like she ought to call me. That doesn't sound like a big deal, but we've kind of been out of touch for the past 20 years or so. I don't mean we don't talk, but just that she's been taking care of her kids and I've been raising mine. We would fly by each other at holidays, but hadn't had a real heart-to-heart talk in quite a while. That phone call put us right back where we belong in each other's lives - at least from my point of view. The next day I went to spend the visit her and had the most eye-opening conversation of my adult life. 

Her advise was simple, direct and to the point..... "Wait, just wait." She taught me that if I'll stay calm and wait things out more often than not it'll all be okay. I hate waiting. I'd much rather be doing. I'm not very good at waiting, but once I started trying to practice doing it things started improving because I was spending less time worrying and more time   enjoying the things around me. I'm not fixed yet by any means, but I'm sure glad E put me on the right track. Oh, and she sends me texts and Facebook messages regularly to remind me of what I should be doing (or not doing). I'm so lucky to have her!