Car Talk

My kids and I have our best discussions in the car. Maybe it's because I have a captive audience - what are they going to do? Jump out of a moving car? Or maybe it's because this is about the only time I have one-on-one with any of them. Maybe it's because we're sitting side by side and my eyes are on the road rather than peering at them... Regardless of the reason, this is when we have our most meaningful conversations. It is because of this intimate time that I often enjoy being Mom's Taxi Service. (And it's an excuse to drive my cute little car.) I learn a great deal about my kids and their friends during this time, but more importantly, it often becomes a teachable moment. A chance to share my belief system with them. A time to discuss difficult and controversial subjects. Things we see along the road can lead to meaningful discussions we otherwise probably would not have. For several weeks a group of people were protesting in front of an abortion clinic that is on our way home from school. Every day we watched these people. Rain or shine they were out. You had to admire their dedication and tenacity. But we wondered if they were just anti-choice or if they truly wanted to help the women who may have felt the need to go to such a clinic. I took the opportunity to talk to my daughters about the dangers of judging others and the need to help people who are in crisis. (Personally, I wouldn't choose abortion for myself, but I don't know the situations of those who were there and since I'm not willing to raise their children, I'm not going to tell them what they should or should not do.) It is truly amazing the insight 14-year-olds have regarding political and moral issues. The girls became so concerned about this that they questioned one of the leaders of our church about it. He had to admit that they were right - we should do more than condemn abortion; we should offer solutions (And this is a man who practices what he preaches!) There have been many other incredible discussion that I can't really write about without compromising confidentiality, but suffice it to say that one of the most effective classrooms I've ever taught in has four wheels, two or four doors, no desks, and moves down the road... I wish I could drive some of my fifth graders (or maybe their parents!) around.

Rite of Passage

Today I took JB to buy his first college course book! He's taking a dual credit course this summer and needed to go get his book. On the way there I suddenly realized that I didn't need to get out in the heat and traffic - the boy has a perfectly good Jeep and a perfectly good driver's license that he could have been using. I turned to head for home and send him on his way with my debit card (he's trustworthy, so far) when he said he wanted me to go. I though, "oh, my little boy needs me, " but no - my little boy wasn't sure where he was going and didn't want to be stuck in traffic in the crazy heat in a Jeep with no top on it. Oh well, at least he needed me for something. But he DIDN'T want me to go into the store with him. (Aww, shucks)

We got to Bevo's Bookstore, and I was wishing I had brought something to do with me. I remember my first venture into the University Coop - hours of lines, confusing stacks, no one to help - and I was expecting a bit of a wait. He popped into the store, got the book, bought it (with my debit card) and popped back out. All in less than 3 minutes.

Now, I'm thrilled to be able to be a part of this rite of passage that my firstborn went through today, but where was the anguish? The pain? The confusion? It all seemed too easy (though not any cheaper) to be a real rite. After a few moments I came to realize that I wish his life could always be this way...that all of the petty things that have caused me grief could be easy for him. I know we have to experience some suffering in order to truly appreciate how good we have it, but I would love to save my children the hassle of the inconveniences that life throws our way. Alas, I can't, so I'll just have to be supportive when they arise and remind him to look at the bright side - it is just an inconvenience, not a real problem.

Now I think I'll go cheer him on as he replaces his brake pads...a hassle he's just going to have to work through...

Laughter

I love laughing with my kids. Some of the things we laugh about are really stupid, but we once we get the giggles it's hard to stop. Most of the time we're laughing at ourselves (or each other), and often even laughing at whoever who is in a bad mood. Usually we laugh at Daughter A - she's the funny one, and she means to be funny (she is the actress, after all). Sometimes we have to laugh at/with Daughter B - the serious one. She's really smart, but sometimes a little dingy so we have to laugh. Even she will do something and then laugh at herself and say, "That was a B moment!" JB often makes us laugh when he's singing and dancing. He's really a good singer, but his dancing....hmm. At least it's entertaining. I'm glad I'm his mother and not his girlfriend. (I don't know if she's okay with his dancing or not - I should ask.) They laugh at me, too, but since I'm the one writing I don't have to share those embarrassing moments (just don't ask them about me doing Wii Fit!).

Yesterday we were lounging in my room just talking. JB was lying across the bed and Mango, the dumb cat, was circling him like a buzzard. She stopped with her head by his shoulder and her tail on his side. She's an annoying cat, and he thought he'd make fun of her dumb-ness. So he said, "Do me a favor, Cat, and put your butt in my face," in the most sarcastic tone he could muster. She took 3 or 4 steps forward, pointed her behind at his nose and waved her tail at him. The rest of us laughed until we cried. JB decided that the dumb cat speaks English. We're still laughing....I love that something so insignificant can create such a bond between my children and me. I hope we always have that weird connection.

Welcome to the Looniverse

When our children were young and learning to talk John used to play around with them, making them bow in front of him and say, “Oh great swami, master of the universe.” Well, when you have two 18-month olds trying to say big words it sometimes comes out a little different. So it came to pass that our house became known as the Loon-i-verse (as in “Oh great swami, master of the looniverse”). We still live there (here?) Things are generally a bit loony around here, but we have a good time and that’s what really matters.

I’ve been here in Austin for most of the last 28 years. I’m lucky enough to be married to a true Austinite who was born in St. David’s Hospital. So by default, I belong here. The real blessing is that we’ve been able to raise our children here. They’ve benefited from all that Austin has to offer, and for that I am grateful. Unfortunately (or maybe it’s fortunately), my kids will soon be leaving my home, and maybe even our wonderful city. JB is almost 18. He’s a senior…for all intents and purposes he’s a man and tries to do all things manly. The girls will be freshmen. Daughter A will be in theater – following her dreams to live on a stage. Daughter B will be singing and swimming and continuing with her aspirations to be as close to perfect as possible in everything that she does.

When they were born I said I could hardly wait for the day all of my kids would be in high school. (I’m addicted to teenagers.) Well, that day is here! So I’ve decided (yet again) to try to blog to keep family and friends updated on what goes on here in the Looniverse.