Follow Your Passion

Wahoo! The cloud has lifted from our house! Yesterday evening Daughter A decided to abandon running cross country and focus on her acting. Now, acting is her passion, and cross country has the potential to interfere, but she's been hesitant to quit because she doesn't want to be a quitter, and she doesn't want to not be an athlete because her brother and sister are. This has been incredibly frustrating for me. She has an incredible ability to act - a talent neither of her siblings have. And yet she still feels a need to do what they do, but she complains about it every step of the way. Praise God that she has wonderful friends who have encouraged her to follow her passions and talents! I wish I had as much control over my child's life as 14- and 15-year-olds have! Thanks guys!

Apollo the Illegitimate Grand Cat

The phone rang, it was JB, "What would you do if I brought a cat home?". How many times has he asked me this question? Why does he keep coming back to it? We already have Kiwi, a cat he talked me into getting, and Maddie, a dog he talked me into getting plus another cat and dog, a rabbit and several chickens. Why does he need another pet for me to take care of?

I hemmed and hawed and tried to put him off. I thought it worked. Then the phone rang a second time. "Could you talk to the lady here? The kitten is from Town Lake (a kill facility), and he's on the list to be killed if no one takes him. She says I can have him since I'm almost 18. And I'll pay for the adoption fee, but she'd like to talk to you since I still live at home." Ohhhh, he knows my weaknesses. A poor little kitten that looks like one we had get hit by a car just a year ago. A male. He's already neutered. He's had his shots. JB's got all the answers to my questions. I talk to the lady. She's understanding, and as much of a "crazy cat lady" as I am. When I tell her my husband's going to think I've lost my mind (again), she lets me know that hers feels the same way about her. But I CAN NOT let a cat die. Not a sweet little kitten who needs a home that I can provide. So (said with a great sigh), JB brings the cat home. He is indeed cute and cuddly. He looks quite a bit like Titus, but different enough it won't bring back sad memories. And he seems to deal with the dogs with no problems whatsoever.

Then comes day 2. JB plays with the kitten for an hour or two; comes up with a name (Apollo); and then says, "Can you watch Apollo? I need to go help Cameron get his bicycle." So here I sit with my illegitimate grand-cat most of the afternoon. Luckily, the cat's "aunts" are here to play with it as well. And he and the dogs get along just grand. I've been suckered AGAIN...But the cat has a home. He's alive. And I have another furry friend to love. Thanks for the cat, Bud. And there is no way you're going to take him away from here when you leave home. He's going to live with his grandmother all his life!

Homecoming

The girls came home today! They already miss their friends from camp, but I am so glad to have them home. It was fun to see them interact with such close friends they only see for one week of each year. I remember those incredibly close bonds. Donna Magee, Rhonda Agee, Dan Anderson, and Danny Balch were people I will always feel a closeness to even though I haven't seen them in 30 years or so! We shared Peach Valley Camp together year after year. And now my daughters have that same type of bond with camp friends.

While I'm thrilled that they got to experience those things, I've missed them (and their brother and father). Missed the conversation and craziness that comes from three teenagers and a husband in the house. I may have even missed the extra work involved (maybe).

John and JB will be here in a few hours. They did not make the summit on their mountain climb (hike), but they've had the opportunity to try something new and see how well they can do. It sounds like both of them did really well. John says that JB did a great job as crew leader. That he was very proud of his only son. It seems one of the adults, not a teen, was not at all prepared for the strenuousness of the hike and managed to go so slowly that no one was able to make the peak. I find this a terribly unfortunate and unfair situation because Trek is an everyone or no one type of thing. And since this person wasn't fit enough to move along the trails at a reasonable pace, no one was able to get to the top. I'm sure I'll get more details when they get home, and I'm sure they are a bit frustrated. Hopefully, there was something good that came out of the experience.

The bottom line is that things are getting back to normal. I will be much busier, doing things for so many other people. But I'll also get to enjoy their company, feel their love, have their support, and listen to their laughter. The break has been nice, but my regular life is even better!

Peer Pressure

I went to my friend's house to pick up the key to my car. (This is the same friend I traded cars with a couple of weeks ago so I could transport a passel of girls to Victoria.) I left the dogs in the house because I was just going to run a few quick errands: put gas in John's truck, pick up his dry cleaning, get a movie to watch, and I made the snap decision to stop by and pick up the key. We did the normal niceties, talked a bit, bitched a bit. But she's incredibly persuasive and by the time I left I had agreed to have my teaching team over tomorrow for swimming and pizza (I'm fine with that - we'll have fun and we need to bond), and did P90X AbRipperX exercises for 16 minutes!!! I'm going to hurt tomorrow! Why did I do that? I DO want tight, ripped abs, but I don't want the pain. I'm a wienie. Oh, well, it's too late now. The damage is done. I might have to do it again.

Growing Up

Today is A's and B's birthday. They are 15. For the first time since their births, I did not get to spend the day with them because they are at camp. I'm a little sad, but I've survived. They have each other, thank God, so hopefully the day was filled with joy and happiness for them. My babies are growing up. My mother always said that in order to be a successful mother to you had to work yourself out of a job. They still need me somewhat, but not like they once did. I must be headed along the right path. Happy Birthday, girls. I love you both.

Struggles and Blessings

I have come to realize that I whine a lot. At least in my head. I'm sure quite a bit of it comes out of my mouth as well. I need to stop...I am so incredibly blessed! The past few weeks and months I've watched several friends go through incredible difficulties. One lost his daughter to cancer in early May, and then his son passed away in early June. Another has a son with cystic fibrosis who is in need of a second round of transplants (lungs and liver). One friend has spent the past year fighting for her marriage (and finally seems to be winning), and another's husband just left her this morning (hence, this post). She has two children, whom I love dearly, who don't understand why their parents are doing this. Another friend is the primary caregiver to a cousin with a form of ALS that supposedly takes longer to do it's awful work. Meaning he will have to suffer longer. Several friends are out of work with few possibilities in the future. The list goes on and on.

But I AM BLESSED!!! My family is healthy, my husband is faithful and loving; we both have jobs; my children don't get into any major trouble. I have my house, more cars than drivers (for another few days), my pets, and my extended family; we never miss meals; we are able to go on vacations; I work with kind, loving people; I attend a church with so much faith and spirit it oozes out the cracks in the walls. Thank you, God. I'll try not to whine any more.

Daddy

My daddy's birthday was yesterday. I thought about it Friday night and again about 11:30 last night. But I forgot it when it was appropriate to call. Today I had to take Daughters A and B to camp near Marble Falls, on the way home I decided to call and say "Happy Birthday, sorry I forgot yesterday". He wasn't home. My mom was, though, and she told me he was at their retirement place outside of Lockhart. Since I'm free all this week - no kids, no husband, no expectations - I decided to surprise him and go down. This was about 4:30. By 6:00 I was in Maxwell with a batch of fake homemade cookies (the frozen dough kind) and our dog Maddie because I hadn't walked her yet. No one else was there, just Daddy and me! I can't remember the last time I had my daddy to myself. It was meant to be a birthday surprise for him, but it ended up being a gift for me as well. He was Daddy, not Pops, the grandfather to my children. We wandered around with the dog (who was afraid of EVERYTHING), looked at the drying fish tank and the dry garden. He showed me a huge snake that had surprised him in a bucket of water. (Daddy hates snakes, so it was dead by the time I got there.) We sat on the swing and talked and watched it RAIN! This was truly an evening for miracles. After a couple of hours my aunt and uncle showed up (they have a place there, too) and shortly after that my mom came with my neice. We had an improptu dinner of grilled sausages that Daddy had cooked up for us, and sat around and visited. By 10:30 I was home. Total time was about 6 hours, 1/4 of a day. I felt relaxed and rested. I had started with an attitude of this was something I had to do, and came home refreshed. I should spend more time alone with Daddy.

Sisterhood

Today was the day. John and JB left for Colorado. So the girls and I spent the day together. We made a trip to JoAnn Fabrics to get the material to make a dress of DB while they are gone. (I already had what I needed for DA.) While we were there DA was on the lookout for stuff to take to camp to give to DB for her birthday - She found some balloons. When we got home they finished packing for tomorrow and then began working on their birthday secrets in separate rooms telling each other not to come in. It has been sisterhood at its best around here all day long. They are each excited and proud of what they have created for the other. I think they'll both be happy with the results.

That sisterhood they share is a mystery to me. Since I have only brothers I don't have a clue what they feel for each other. Their bond is so strong, I'm a little jealous. As a kid I never wanted a sister, but as an adult I think it would be wonderful. Please don't think I don't love my brothers, I do. I'm particularly close to my youngest brother because we live in the same town, have similar interests, and spend time together (he's my hairstylist :-) ), but that bond doesn't seem to be the same as what DA and DB have. They finish each other's thoughts and sentences. They break out in song at the same time with the same song in the same key. They tolerate each other's idiosyncrasies with patience they don't have for anyone else. They even talk about working it out so that they will have their children on the same day. (And they probably will.) I don't know if this connection is because they are twins or because they are sisters, but it's an incredible connection, and I'm glad they have it.

And by the way, they both idolize their brother.

The Drama Princess

Daughter A is a drama princess. (She can't be the queen because I'm the queen of the looniverse.) She holds this title in more ways than one. She IS an actress. She has been since she was about two. I can't remember a time when she didn't know every word to any Disney movie she saw. She created "shows" for us to watch almost daily. She loved to put on costumes and create elaborate plots for the shows. Some of them were even pretty good. She's the second freshman to earn a leading role in a CPHS musical - only the SECOND! Yep, I'm pretty proud of her, and I'm bragging a bit. BUT....

She also has the ability to find drama in situations that others might find a little irritating or possibily even mundane! While theater is her passion, for some reason she feels compelled to run cross country like her brother did. Now DA is not the runner JB is. She's a good runner, but not an exceptional one. She doesn't love it the way he once did. She says she doesn't want to be the only Wilkinson child who is not an athlete - never mind the fact that she is the only one who can get on a stage in front of hundreds of people and sing, dance and act. It seems like running turns into a frustrating drama every day when I pick her up from practice. Something always happens (a fall, an untied shoe, a witchy girl on the team says something, coach yells, a muscle is pulled, a foot hurts, meets are going to interfere with rehearsals, etc.) to make her run miserable. And every day I ask her why she runs if she hates it so much. The whole drama is exhausting for me; I can only imagine how it must be for her.

Today I finally got something other than the stock answer and complaining. She agreed to think (just think) about switching to regular PE next year and focusing on her acting rather than splitting her energy between cross country and theater. I feel so relieved. She'll have to talk it over with her friends, but I think they'll back me. And when she makes her acceptance speech for her first Tony award she'll have to thank me for encouraging her to drop cross country!

Birthday Traditions

We make trip after trip to the store to get the things everyone needs for their various trips next week. Shorts (longs? they must touch the kneecap!), rain gear, flashlights, small toiletries, hiking socks, bowls, sporks, a fan, and two digital cameras for the girls birthdays. They will spend their birthday at camp this year while their daddy and brother are scaling a 12,000 to 14,000 peak in Colorado. And I'll be home with the dogs and the cats.

We've never been apart for their birthdays. We have a tradition... I get up before 6:39 so that I can wake Daughter A before her birth time. She gloats for 35 minutes because she is "a year older" than Daughter B. At 7:14 everyone has been born. They open their presents. I tell them the story of their birth (again). We have breakfast and the day begins. This year the tradition will be foregone for the first time. I'll get up at 4:45 so I can go walk with my friend. I'll come home to a house filled with pets but no family, and I supposed I'll tell Jake and Maddie the birth story when the time comes. I already know how they will react. Jake will lie there and move his eyebrows around. Maddie will look at me expectantly, hoping for some type of treat and perk her ears when I say the word "go" as in "we decided we should GO to the hospital". I hope I'm able to be strong and have a good day. After all, my babies will be having fun at a camp that they love. My husband and son will be getting closer to summit-ing, something they've looked forward to since January. It will still be a day of celebration, just not all of us together. They are really growing up, aren't they?

Re-connecting and Reminiscing

The past week or two has been filled with opportunities to re-connect with old friends. I spent an evening with a former student (who ended up being a close friend) and two wonderful ladies I used to teach with. Then one of those friends brought her young sons over to swim later in the week. It was great to catch up on what had been going on in their lives and realize how wonderful my life is with older children and no more toddlers. :-)

I had lunch with a friend from junior high and high school that I haven't seen in 28 years! We seemed to just pick up where we left off the summer after graduation. We talked about high school and last week. The conversation was seamless; easily flowing from one thing to another just like it did when we were 12 and 18. I never would have thought I could do something like that. Thanks to Facebook, I can...

I visited with my parents next door neighbor, my extra grandmother, when I dropped the girls off in Victoria. She told me where to find Charlotte, her "real" granddaughter (and my extra cousin), so I could stop by and see her for the first time in ages before I headed back to Austin. And I did! Again an easy conversation and a great feeling of complete-ness when I left.

I have never been good at keeping in touch with people. I tend to be a loner and kind of forget the old friends when it is no longer convenient to see them. Maybe it's because I'm hitting middle age, but I've enjoyed the re-connecting and reminiscing. I think I'll continue to try to rebuild those relationships. In talking with all of these people (particularly the ones from long ago) I've begun to gain some insight into who I really am. And I'd like to find that girl again.

I found a quote last week by e.e. cummings. "It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are." I think I may be finally gaining that courage thanks to Denise, Sarah, Jennifer, Temi, GrammaDee and Charlotte.

Puck and the Expedition

I took my girls to Victoria today to spend the weekend with their grandparents. JB was already at Port A in his dad's truck, so all I had to drive was my MINI or his Jeep. Normally that's a great thing, but today I was also transporting two other girls. A MINI does not comfortably move 5 people and the luggage for 4 teenage girls 130 miles so I had to find something else to drive. (A Jeep also only has 4 seat belts and is rather rough for a long road trip.) I ended up trading vehicles with a friend who drives an Expedition...now we're talking BIG! You could park my car inside of hers! The really ironic thing is the I - the mother of three active teen-age kids - have a MINI Cooper to run around in, and she - not yet a mother - drives the ultimate mom-mobile.

She wasn't up when we were ready to leave, so we had to wake her to trade cars (sorry). We headed out, but needed gas first... OMG! I'm used to putting about $20 worth of gas in and being set for 300 or so miles. This was a different beast! As far as big vehicles goes it gets pretty good gas mileage, but I ended up spending over $70! The kids loved it - power EVERYTHING, DVD player, the works. It took me a bit to get used to driving something so tall and long, but I managed. After all, in a former life I drove a 15-passenger van. The thing drove like a dream and handled great, but when it came down to it, I missed my cute little car. I guess I've just turned into a MINI girl. Ever since I got Puck (that's his name - after the Shakespearean character) people have told me that he suits me. I felt like I was betraying him and doing major damage to the environment. Thanks, Stacey, for the loaner. You're a life saver. Thanks, Puck, for not disowning me for driving someone else - I will always love you most!

Hopefully my mom will bring them home...

Flying Solo

Either I'm really good - or I'm really crazy. JB left for Port Aransas yesterday around noon; I've heard from him once; and I'm not worried! Well, maybe I need to clarify a bit. He and some friends went to Victoria to my parents' house yesterday. I talked to him briefly after they got there. He didn't call to let me know he was okay. He just wanted to know if I would be mad at him if he brought another kitten home because evidently there are a bunch of free kittens in Victoria. I know my mother watched over them last night and gave them plenty of advice as they left for Port A today. And I know that JB would never consider not listening to his grandmother...She might beat the fire, the tar or the living daylights out of him (those are phrases for another post some day). Therefore, he must be okay. I haven't heard from him and Mama told him to be good.

I made my first trips without parents to Port A when I was 17 (he'll be 18 in about 6 weeks), and I lived to tell the tale. I didn't even do anything I shouldn't have. My brothers went at about the same age, but I'm sure they lived a little more on the edge than I did. Bottom line is they both are still with us and didn't get in to any major trouble. So I guess all of that and knowing that JB is a responsible kid and that I've done a pretty good job of raising him results in me not being worried about him. I feel a bit guilty for not being in constant earnest and wailing prayer over the situation. I've prayed, but then I've forgotten about it. There has been no overwhelming desire to worry. Truth be told, I've worried more about John being out on Lake Travis this evening than JB's adventure along the coast. I am anxious to hear how it has been, but I'll wait until he gets home to find out.

I'm proud of myself. I hope everything continues to go smoothly. And I'm looking forward to the boys getting home Sunday afternoon. I miss them, but I feel peaceful about it all. Thank you, Lord, for taking care of both JB and me.

Shuttle Service

It's summer time. I'm supposed to be off. I am a teacher, after all. Now all teachers know we don't REALLY get the whole summer off, but we do get a few weeks. I'm supposed to be playing in the sun. Right? Not driving to school. Right? Home with my dear children. Right? Oh, no - that's not the life for me. I'm a shuttle service for two teenage daughters who are not yet old enough to shuttle themselves, but definitely old enough to have very active lives! And I live in the Looniverse so things have to be a little crazy.

I made five (count 'em FIVE) trips to Cedar Park and back today. That's about 30-35 minutes per trip! I don't worry about the mileage/gas too much; that's one reason why I drive a MINI. At 6:15 I left the house to go to CP to take Daughter B to swim practice. At 7:15 I left for the second time to take Daughter A to cross country practice. At 9:00 I brought DB home in case some friends who were coming over to swim got here before XC practice was over because they were doing a longer workout today. I immediately headed back to Cedar Park to wait for DA just in case they did get done on time. By 10:15 we were home. At 2:30 DA wanted to go hang out with some friends at the park/pool where DB had practice at 6:30 this morning, so off we went. At 5:15 I left to pick her up again. There they are six trips... And in the middle I cleaned some cabinets, worked in my classroom, enjoyed the company of friends in the pool, cleaned some more cabinets, went to the bank, did some laundry, watched half of a really good movie, and fixed supper. Not bad for a crazy day. :-)

Now, I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. I chose to take a job in Cedar Park and to put my kids in school there to get them out of the middle school and high school they are zoned for, and I'm glad I made the decision and will stick by it. But five trips? Seriously, girls...you need to coordinate a little better!

Discipline and Dedication

It’s Independence Day, and I’m sitting at the UT Swim Center waiting for Daughter B to swim. They just finished the warm up. Warm up in this pool is almost overwhelming to me…a couple of hundred (yes, I counted) swimmers all going end to end, time after time for about an hour – steady, streamlined swimming. All different types of strokes. To me they are all amazing because I can’t even begin to do what they do. (DB is trying to get me to breathe right as I swim so that I won’t drown next time I do the Danskin!) The water churns from all the commotion, but they are so disciplined and organized that they seldom even touch one another. When they all get out the pool is like glass almost immediately. I’m told this pool is designed to have almost no wake and it works! The timeline for the meet says that 756 entries will swim in 99 heats in a little more than 4 hours. My child will compete for about 2½ minutes today. The other 250 minutes I will sit and be astonished (and a little jealous). I want to be like these kids when I grow up! They get up in the dark during their summer break. They swim for hours every day. They do core workouts. They run. They eat right and stay hydrated. They go to bed early while their friends are out late so that they can get up the next morning and do it again. During the school year many of them swim before and after school. They swim when it’s hot and when it’s freezing (like ice on the dog’s bowl freezing) in an outdoor pool. Most of them keep a pretty high GPA. They are truly incredible kids. Their dedication, discipline and determination are to be greatly admired. I’m proud of all of them – even the ones I don’t know. I’m particularly proud of DB – not because of her insanely fast times (she’s still working on that) but because of her willingness and enthusiasm to be a part of such a demanding sport that she began only 9 months ago. Her determination to improve while accepting her limitations and staying positive is a lesson to me. I’m only sorry you can’t see her…she’s the pretty one in the CP swim cap!

Driving

Twenty one days until Daughter A and Daughter B will be 15! The countdown began months ago because they have been looking forward to the day they can get driving permits. The thought that we are so close to the big day is a little disconcerting. Can my babies really be that old? I’m almost coming to grips with the fact that JB will be 18 in less than 2 months (after all he looks, talks and moves like a man), but these are my baby girls! They were so small you could hold them in one hand! How will I ever help them both get enough experience in the next year to feel comfortable letting them drive alone? What if one passes the written test the first time around and the other doesn’t? Will I be able to get Verification of Enrollment forms from the school during July so that they can even take the test or will they have to wait until August? So many questions…

Luckily they will be at camp on their birthday so we don’t have to race to the DPS office at 8:00 that morning. Truth be told, their study books may not even be here by then, so that may buy a little time. My brother is borrowing the car they will drive until his is fixed – so that’s another possible delay.

I really do want them to learn to drive. It will make my life so much calmer (in some ways) once they are able to take themselves places. They’ve even already worked out how they will get to their respective practices for sports and who will drive when. (Wahoo! No more getting up at 6:00 in the summer to get someone to swim practice and then making another run at 7:30 to go to cross country practice!) The problem is I can’t quite figure out how to teach them both and get them enough practice to be confident within the year I’m allotted. Right now I’m thinking I’ll work with each one on alternating days. Of course I’ll have to keep a chart like I did when I was trying to remember who had been fed and who had had a diaper change when they were babies, but now the chart will read things like “stops and starts”, “parking”, “turns”, and “emergencies”.

I’ll keep you posted, but beginning July 27 you might want to avoid the roads in our neighborhood…the Wilkinson girls will be attempting to drive!